immortals review

i’m back with another ddt!!! this time it’s a review. everyone seems to be reviewing something so i decided to get in on the festivities.

i saw this piece of shit called “immortals” last sunday and hated it. it was a fucken waste of money, don’t do it! many of you won’t listen and will still head out to the cinema and flush your hard earned cash down the toilet, but for those of you that want the truth and insight, read on.

i have added illustrations of what i saw during the movie to help you get the idea. there are a few x rated scenes so look out.

i came in late so i was not sure why the guy with the bow was shooting that box full of guys with bars in their mouths, but who gives a shit.

then we see some muscle asshole chopping a piece of wood with some old guy talking to him.

now everyone is scared and is planning to leave the village. muscle guy and his mom try to leave, but some dickhead stops them and tells them to go the next day. muscle guy fucks him up. at this point you realize that muscle guy is not in the army…why the hell not?

dickhead gets told that he is out of the army for getting bitched my muscle guy, so what does he do? he kills a fucken black guy (yup, he was the first one to die) then he bounces.

the next morning the guy from the  guy from the wrestler shows up with an earwig hat and kills muscle guy’s mother in front of him. muscle guy is not feeling this at all.

oh shit, i forgot that the girl from slumdog millonaire is in this crap. her and three other ugly-ass girls meet up with muscle guy in the dessert. they escape leaving the nasty one behind. sort of like taking that hot girl away from her fat friends at the club and hooking up with her.

dickhead decides to become a traitor and goes to the guy from the wrestler to see if he can join him. the wrestler says yes, but he gets a guy with a chicago bulls helmet to crush his nuts with a croquette mallet. 

slumdog girl tells muscle guy that she is a virgin, two days later he fucks her. the next day he finds a magic bow when he is burying his mom.

the wrestler steals the bow and some gay god saves muscle guy, some other god kills him for helping muscle guy!!!???!!!

muscle guy goes to the wrestler’s camp, slum dog shows her true acting skills when she finds her three nasty friends being steamed in that big bull from wall street http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charging_Bull

the wrestler and his boys attack some kingdom, he shoots the box with the dudes that were biting the bars from the beginning, then a bunch of gay gods fly down and fight them.

the wrestler and muscle guy have a showdown!!! muscle guy gets his ass beat. once again muscle guy is bailed out by one of his boys.

then we see the son that slumdog and muscle guy had after one night of virgin sex. nice!! then i went home…angry!!

i just saved you 300nt fuckers!!

you are welcome.

the.child